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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Will literally remove clothing and urinate. Maybe he can’t find the restroom? We already put up signs, taped arrows on the floor, and give audible instructions.
You are dealing with dementia . He can no longer be left to use the bathroom himself. Every 2 hours at least you or someone needs to say.."Jack", it is time to go to the bathroom." and that person helps "Jack" up and walks him to the bathroom. And if need be you stand there until Jack is done, remind him to wash hands then say "Jack, let's go get something to drink" and go to the kitchen. Doing this does a few things. Not only does it get him to the bathroom but it gets him moving, changes his position so that it help prevent pressure sores.
Change the type of clothing he has to a type that is more difficult for him to get off easily.
Signs are NOT going to work. He may not know what the sign means any more, he may not know what a "bathroom" is he may not know how to read any more. Lots of reasons why signs will not work.
It is possible that you may have to look into placing him in Memory Care. this is a difficult decision but sometimes it gets to the point where the level of care necessary is more than can be done by 1 person at home. It is not a "failure" it just means that his care is more than you can handle at home.
Someone obviously needs to be with him 24/7, and needs to be taking him to the bathroom on a regular schedule(every 2 hours)and standing with him to make sure he's peeing in the toilet and not elsewhere. If that can't be done in home, then placement in a memory care facility is the next step.
As someone else answered…your loved one needs full time supervision. I am full time caregiver for my husband with dementia. He is bedridden now, so inappropriate urination isn’t the issue anymore. I do have some help…hospice and a couple of part time helpers.
When toileting became an issue, I literally kept a log of when he’d urinate, dedicate, what/when he ate and drank.
i would take him to the bathroom every few hours. Except at night, he’d wear pull ups with an extra pad in there and with Chux on bed, we rarely had leakage. Sometimes he’d wake me (inadvertently) to use toilet at night, even though he had on pull ups. I still escort him to bathroom to assist him.
In daytime, in the bathroom I would have to help with his pants (we went all elastic, all the time). Id encourage him to sit on toilet. I just thought that would be easier than standing to pee and then sit to poop…just sit all the time. It worked 80% of the time. About 15% of the time we wouldn’t make to toilet in time; about 5% of the time it was flat out refusal to use toilet. He’d get angry and abusive. I’d just wait it out and try again in a little later. I’d watch him closely also note his behavior…is he getting restless, agitated, skirmy etc. when I’d see those signs I’d be ready to get him to bathroom. Gently, but firmly, be loving (even though your mind is saying OMG, hurry up!). And remember how he must feel losing his independence and the indignity of having someone help you with the most personal of issues.
I did buy washable seat pads for all the upholstered chairs and couches and put disposable Chux pads on those! I couldn’t afford to buy new furniture. But again with keeping him on a schedule and escorting him, and learning his “about to potty” behaviors it really helped.
It was very grueling. However it did pass and he went to adult diapers all the time and now as I said, he’s bedridden.
Some of these responses are not kind. Obviously the caregiver is just entering the horrible, cruel world of dementia with their loved one. This forum is to sincerely help, not judge. Often, the family member is trying to avoid placement in memory care. Just visit any, you’ll understand why. The honest, kind answer is, full time supervision, and still expect some messes OR placement in a memory care facility. For most of us, we try everything else before moving our loved one to memory care. It should be a last resort. We have just walked this walk and it is painful and difficult. Please remember we come to this forum for help and SUPPORT.
UTIs can present this way. If he is having urgency, frequency, or burning, he cannot express this to you. Do you notice an odor to his urine? Discuss with his provider, who will suggest the best way to accomplish obtaining a urine specimen, and or culture, to rule out any infection. Best of luck.
Many on this forum have lots of personal AND professional experience caring for patients with dementia and may not understand how those encountering an issue for the first time can be flummoxed by what may be obvious to the experienced caregiver.
Of course, this is a real question! I am not yet dealing with this issue with my husband but I know toileting issues are next. I will be at a loss when the time comes.
At the outset of his diagnosis, I thought MC would be an obvious decision when such issues arise. I now realize it is not so easy even if it is the obvious solution.
Momof8, I hope treating the UTI solves the issue for now. Take good care of yourself.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
He can no longer be left to use the bathroom himself.
Every 2 hours at least you or someone needs to say.."Jack", it is time to go to the bathroom." and that person helps "Jack" up and walks him to the bathroom. And if need be you stand there until Jack is done, remind him to wash hands then say "Jack, let's go get something to drink" and go to the kitchen.
Doing this does a few things. Not only does it get him to the bathroom but it gets him moving, changes his position so that it help prevent pressure sores.
Change the type of clothing he has to a type that is more difficult for him to get off easily.
Signs are NOT going to work.
He may not know what the sign means any more, he may not know what a "bathroom" is he may not know how to read any more. Lots of reasons why signs will not work.
It is possible that you may have to look into placing him in Memory Care. this is a difficult decision but sometimes it gets to the point where the level of care necessary is more than can be done by 1 person at home.
It is not a "failure" it just means that his care is more than you can handle at home.
When someone is whipping it out and pissing anywhere and everywhere that is when it's time to find a residential care facility for them.
If that can't be done in home, then placement in a memory care facility is the next step.
https://www.silverts.com/all-adaptive/pants/alzheimer-s-jumpsuits
When toileting became an issue, I literally kept a log of when he’d urinate, dedicate, what/when he ate and drank.
i would take him to the bathroom every few hours. Except at night, he’d wear pull ups with an extra pad in there and with Chux on bed, we rarely had leakage. Sometimes he’d wake me (inadvertently) to use toilet at night, even though he had on pull ups. I still escort him to bathroom to assist him.
In daytime, in the bathroom I would have to help with his pants (we went all elastic, all the time). Id encourage him to sit on toilet. I just thought that would be easier than standing to pee and then sit to poop…just sit all the time. It worked 80% of the time. About 15% of the time we wouldn’t make to toilet in time; about 5% of the time it was flat out refusal to use toilet. He’d get angry and abusive. I’d just wait it out and try again in a little later. I’d watch him closely also note his behavior…is he getting restless, agitated, skirmy etc. when I’d see those signs I’d be ready to get him to bathroom. Gently, but firmly, be loving (even though your mind is saying OMG, hurry up!). And remember how he must feel losing his independence and the indignity of having someone help you with the most personal of issues.
I did buy washable seat pads for all the upholstered chairs and couches and put disposable Chux pads on those! I couldn’t afford to buy new furniture. But again with keeping him on a schedule and escorting him, and learning his “about to potty” behaviors it really helped.
It was very grueling. However it did pass and he went to adult diapers all the time and now as I said, he’s bedridden.
Good Luck and let us know what works for you,
Often, the family member is trying to avoid placement in memory care. Just visit any, you’ll understand why.
The honest, kind answer is, full time supervision, and still expect some messes OR placement in a memory care facility. For most of us, we try everything else before moving our loved one to memory care. It should be a last resort.
We have just walked this walk and it is painful and difficult.
Please remember we come to this forum for help and SUPPORT.
Best of luck.
Of course, this is a real question! I am not yet dealing with this issue with my husband but I know toileting issues are next. I will be at a loss when the time comes.
At the outset of his diagnosis, I thought MC would be an obvious decision when such issues arise. I now realize it is not so easy even if it is the obvious solution.
Momof8, I hope treating the UTI solves the issue for now. Take good care of yourself.
it’s time for a higher level of care.
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