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The caregiver has made chicken cutlets and pasta and brought in for my parents. She told them she was going to stop and get a cake for them. she has bought tennis balls for my father’s walker. Is this ok?
auntreky20, welcome to the forum. It's not unusual for a hired caregiver to bring in things for their client to enjoy. Especially if the client is easy to work for and really shows signs of appreciation.
My Dad's weekday and also his weekend caregivers were great. The weekday caregiver would stop and get Dad a breakfast meal from a fast-food place. Dad's weekend caregiver would cook from scratch and box up items for the freezer for Dad's weekday caregiver to use. She would also bring over left-overs from their own family dinner, and her sisters would make bake goods for "Mr. Bob" to enjoy. Dad loved all of this :)
I tried to pay for the food, but the caregivers said "no", it was their threat.
Is this a caregiver you have hired? Is she expected to cook for your parents? Does she cook what they want/need and are the groceries provided? I would discuss this with the caregiver or her facility and ask them this question. The tennis ball things is, imho, just a nothing. Anyone might have these available who does care. They are typically used and very cheap. But food is expensive. So again, this is to discuss with her agency if hired through one, or with her.
When you have a caregiver you hire yourself you generally define just what your expectations are of meals, cooking, how much, how often, and what they are comfortable making of the suggest menu. Then the grocery shopping is done by the caregiver with the person they care for, or done as part of hourly duties.
So I think the important thing here is define what YOU WANT THE CAREGIVER TO DO. Or what the caregiver thinks he/she IS doing. Because at the end of month you really don't want a shopping bill landing on the table.
Just openly discuss, good luck, and hope you'll update us.
What makes you think they make or buy? Many times caregiver will give you things that were given to them or the company by other people or families they take care of.
The answers to this are probably as individual as the caregivers and the people they care for. If it were me, I'd have a conversation with the caregiver and express my gratitude for their kindness. I would find out whether they expect to be reimbursed for their expense, and work with them to agree on limits either way, to prevent either an unexpected bill or financial burden on the caregiver. Typically they aren't super well paid, so I would probably feel more comfortable either paying for everything, or accepting only a minimal amount; a meal or some treats here and there.
To address your question, I suspect it's pretty common. A good caregiver is a nurturing person who likes to do special little things to make their charge more comfortable.
Personally, unless the caregiver is someone who discussed this food arrangement with me, I would be leery. Who's paying for this food? Is this your parents' request? People do things out of the goodness of their heart. People also take advantage of elderly.
The more I think about it the more I think its unprofessional. Its a nice gester but it could be her getting too involved with your parents. They aren't friends or family but Clients. Cooking and buying a cake are taking away from her earnings.
Burnt hasn't chimed in yet. She wascan aide and now owns her own business.
If you live in an area whose culture is to share food, then yes, normal, however, I would have thought that the person would have asked permission first. My Mom's caregivers would bring in fruits that they picked from their trees and would make small deserts that they would share with her.
Tennis balls for your father's walker? Well, if he was using the default coverings which do not allow one to push the walker easily, yes it is okay. However, I would ask you, how did you not see that he was having difficulty using his walker?
I would suggest that since these types of things are bothering you, you should talk to the caregivers and ask them to ask you first.
P.S. Is your parent giving them cash for these things? Like giving them cash to buy what is needed to make chicken cutlet and in return, they bring in some of what they made?
I would thank the caregiver but consider telling her that you, or whoever is overseeing the care, be notified/asked in the future BEFORE any of this is done. I would be leery of a caregiver who asserts herself in this way - it is not the norm. That said, it may just be that she likes them and wants to be helpful. Just keep a watchful eye.
I recall in my HCA ( Home Care Aid) training that bringing in food cooked from the caregiver's home is not allowed- because the conditions and safety are a liability. What if the client became ill from a food borne illness or unsanitary food prep. conditions? Cooking food the client pays for and the caregiver prepares and cooks in the client's home is ok, however. And yes, of course the food could be just as poorly cooked or prepared in an unsanitary condition in the client's home but the liability is less if it's done in the client's home.
My in laws Indy often brings “treats” from her home, relatives or church. The in laws allow her to board a child relative there with her five days a week, so afaik, that’s the least she can do.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My Dad's weekday and also his weekend caregivers were great. The weekday caregiver would stop and get Dad a breakfast meal from a fast-food place. Dad's weekend caregiver would cook from scratch and box up items for the freezer for Dad's weekday caregiver to use. She would also bring over left-overs from their own family dinner, and her sisters would make bake goods for "Mr. Bob" to enjoy. Dad loved all of this :)
I tried to pay for the food, but the caregivers said "no", it was their threat.
Is she expected to cook for your parents?
Does she cook what they want/need and are the groceries provided?
I would discuss this with the caregiver or her facility and ask them this question.
The tennis ball things is, imho, just a nothing. Anyone might have these available who does care. They are typically used and very cheap.
But food is expensive.
So again, this is to discuss with her agency if hired through one, or with her.
When you have a caregiver you hire yourself you generally define just what your expectations are of meals, cooking, how much, how often, and what they are comfortable making of the suggest menu. Then the grocery shopping is done by the caregiver with the person they care for, or done as part of hourly duties.
So I think the important thing here is define what YOU WANT THE CAREGIVER TO DO.
Or what the caregiver thinks he/she IS doing.
Because at the end of month you really don't want a shopping bill landing on the table.
Just openly discuss, good luck, and hope you'll update us.
To address your question, I suspect it's pretty common. A good caregiver is a nurturing person who likes to do special little things to make their charge more comfortable.
Burnt hasn't chimed in yet. She wascan aide and now owns her own business.
If you live in an area whose culture is to share food, then yes, normal, however, I would have thought that the person would have asked permission first. My Mom's caregivers would bring in fruits that they picked from their trees and would make small deserts that they would share with her.
Tennis balls for your father's walker? Well, if he was using the default coverings which do not allow one to push the walker easily, yes it is okay. However, I would ask you, how did you not see that he was having difficulty using his walker?
I would suggest that since these types of things are bothering you, you should talk to the caregivers and ask them to ask you first.
P.S. Is your parent giving them cash for these things? Like giving them cash to buy what is needed to make chicken cutlet and in return, they bring in some of what they made?