My father, aged 69, who lives in South Carolina, suffers from advanced dementia accompanied by severe behavioral challenges, including aggression and wandering. He has been a resident in TWO memory care facilities in a little over a 1 month. Despite being labeled as "secure facilities", he has escaped multiple times thru windows and doors, placing himself in life-threatening situations.
I have now been issued a 30-day eviction notice from his current memory care facility only 5 days into admission. Despite exhaustive efforts on my part, including collaboration with hospice services, outreach to the Appalachian Council on Aging, and reporting the situation to Adult Protective Services (APS), I have been unable to secure a safe and suitable placement for him. APS has declined to open a case because he’s not technically homeless, leaving me with no viable options.
I cannot care for my father in my home due to his needs, his wandering, and his aggressive behavior, which would put my own young child at risk. He requires more specialized and secure care than I am able to provide. I got granted Guardianship over him back in Oct of this year, but as my attorney explained, it no way made me legally obligated to keep him in my home. My role is to advocate for his well being & whats in his best interest.
The facility Director has been calling me to go pick up my dad but my dads hospice social worker said to not go because then I would be assuming responsibility over him. And that the facility MUST legally (on a federal and state level) have a safety plan in place before they can discharge him or relocate him. What do I do? I don’t pick him up right? They must figure out what to do with him, correct? Any help appreciated
I had this happen to a family on hospice where the husband with lewy body dementia became violent, he got evicted by an adult family home. The AFH could not send him on to the street like that as the state will show up and investigate as to why he did not get treated at a Geri Pscyh ward. The AFH did not want to make those arrangements as the state gets involved in that too, and often the person won't get discharged back to the community unless they go on hospice.
Just getting on hospice means he became a vulnerable adult, he has rights as do you. Hospice a daily benefit so talk to the social worker daily about his rights to care.
He then became so violent at home, family had him hospitalized for over 12 months because the hospital could not find placement for him. They said they learned their lesson the hard way and like a broken record this time they said they could not take care of him safely at home.
The daughter a nurse, and the wife chose this together, and with much guilt and sadness but they had to make the right choice. Finally he got on the right meds and got placed in a pure medicaid community, quite depressing, but better then on the streets or harming himself or someone else.
This person on and off hospice for about two years as he continues to show enough decline. I would talk to the social worker and nurse nonstop about how to get the psych ward set up, demand it and report the community for not fulfilling their "negotiated" care plan. Refuse to take him home with you.
Is Dad on meds for his aggression? Maybe he should be placed in a Psychic facility where they can monitor him and experiment till they find the correct meds. Then you place him in Long-term care that has a lock down. MCs are really not equipped to care for someone with these problems.
I am sorry you took on guardianship because you cannot resign and only a judge can relieve you and they never will.
I would tell them you have no where for him to go and that they cannot do an unsafe discharge. They will then to forced to send him to hospital which will be forced to place him in locked facility and try for med cocktails that may help him.
Just be certain to say you have no place for him and he is unsafe, a danger to himself and to others and that you are neither mentally, physically, emotionally or intellectually capable of caring for him.
Wish you had come here before accepting guardianship, because that's a problem. They can start to accuse you of abandonment of overseeing his care. I would see an elder law attorney were I you at this point. He is badly in need of medical assessment and medications.
- “I have been unable to secure a safe and suitable placement for him”. Have you turned anything down as not ‘suitable’ – particularly drugs? What have you been offered, if anything?
- “APS has declined to open a case because he’s not technically homeless”. APS doesn’t usually require someone to be homeless before they get involved. Do you know why this has happened? Have APS made any suggestions for you to pursue?
- Does F own ‘your home’? Or is he the renter?
I hope that you can provide more details about this difficult situation, so that practical suggestions can be offered.
APS here said they did require him to be homeless in this case unless I suspected abuse, neglect or exploitation.
You should insist that the facility should send him to a secure psychiatric ward where he can be properly diagnosed and prescribed adequate medications, and he should stay there until his behavior calms down enough for him to safely stay in a facility.
Do you know what his specific diagnosis is (form of dementia)?
Don't give in and take him home. That would not be safe for him, you, or your family.
I'm also wondering why he isn't in a psych ward where he may get meds for his behavior? My 68-yr old cousin with ALZ was brought to the ER for aggressive behavior, confusion, delusions (and it turned out to be a UTI). Because she was refusing the antibiotics (and her poor son had to physically restrain her while she was driven to the ER) they put her in the hospital psych ward for a month until she eventually complied with medication and it had time to work. It worked. Ask about this option for your Dad.
What might have to happen is that he get admitted to a psych ward so that his meds are adjusted. No facility will want him until that's fixed.