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This isn't all that unusual. I recall my cousin, who was 80 years old at the time, saying that her orthopedist told her that many patients refused to do therapy as prescribed and that's why they didn't fully recover from rotator cuff surgery. My cousin was a former Marine, WW2. She pressed on through the pain and recovered as fully as possible. But she was a Marine.
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My mom's the same way. She's had PT/OT many times over the years and does good then slacks off.
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My mom had home PT for awhile. If I hadn't worked with her to do her exercises, she wouldn't have done them.
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I know two ladies who did this - either they refused therapy outright or they refused to practice the exercises in between sessions. One of them seemed to think that if she only worked on exercises when the therapist was there... that the therapist would come more often. Not true. The other lady I will speculate was a genuine pain management problem and a case of refusing to exercise until pain was under control - which it never was.

One lady was bedbound within a year. The other went 4 years still being able to transfer, toilet, and minimal walking but is currently a hoyer lift to a geri chair every day and it's been that way for quite a while.

Both had all the proper encouragement and resources to complete the exercises as prescribed. Neither was given any exercise that they literally couldn't do. They simply did not comply with what was prescribed and all the encouragement and explaining in the world wasn't going to change them.
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Oh, boy.
Here we go. My brother was SOOOO helped by his one month in rehab after his car accident incidentally got him a diagnosis of probable early Lewy's dementia. He got a diagnosis of probably early Lewy's dementia at that time, and his balance had been poor for some time. And after doing and practicing exercises he was so much more steady on his feet.
But would he do them when he was released.
We talked. He said that there was just so little he felt in control of after all he went through, and in the middle of selling his last home, moving to ALF, getting me POA and Trustee of Trust and management of his finances, that he just had to take control of some few things, one being when and if he exercised.
I do those same balance exercises now, and I don't do them faithfully enough nor often enough no matter I know they make a difference.
I think you may be fighting a losing battle. I wish it were not so, but often the more we advocate for something the more our loved ones move away from hearing what we say. Not good. Not right. But it IS word.
I sure wish you luck. Let us know if something works.
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If you take the time to do them with her as the therapist does it may help. And I think twice a day is asking a lot, getting her to do them once a day is going to be difficult enough.
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Chestershaba3 Feb 2023
Wishful thinking my mom even fought the pt. Even when in a $300 a day facility. When they give up that's it. And mom used to yell at my dad "use it or lose it"...ended up in care home wheelchair bound. I'm afraid that's too common, and when you add dementia...my aunt used to say she thinks she's lived too long. Died at 98.
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my mom did the same thing right down saying she was in pain with her arthritis. Sadly I have no answer for you other than to suggest she take what ever she takes 30 min or so before she does the exercises.
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It's nearly impossible to get an elder with Alzheimers/dementia to do PT exercises; they can't remember them, or follow cues, etc, so it's basically an exercise in futility to try to 'force' this issue. Leave your mother alone. If she becomes wheelchair bound as a result, so be it. That's what happened to my mother eventually, due to neuropathy in her legs and feet, and her inability to do the PT/OT exercises she was supposed to do. She lived in Memory Care Assisted Living and had help with everything she did.

Best of luck with a difficult situation.
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KNance72 Feb 2023
exactly my opinion
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