My 75-year-old mother is bipolar, and to the best of my knowledge has had cognitive dysfunction her entire life. But if she really wanted to learn something, she could. She learned Japanese, she learned French, and she planned international trips yet she never drove and never used the microwave. I can't find a rationale for it. My 74 year old father is more mentally stable and understands Facebook messenger, simple internet. I don't worry about him really. I guess she's relied on him for years.
Now it's just a new level of helplessness it seems. She was told by the nursing company that she MUST use a stair lift, which we have. My father showed her a few times how to use it, she didn't learn. I am now teaching her with my 5 year old, I can see she very easily gets "stuck." For instance, she can’t figure out how to release her seatbelt, she doesn't understand that to swivel the chair you need one hand for the lever and the other to turn it. She forgets where the button is to get up the stairs. I feel like nothing is "going in." It's like we're doing day 1 each day.
I'm not optimistic for her learning this on her own. But we're so tired of doing stuff for her and her not learning anything that my brother told her to learn to use the stair lift or she'll leave the home. Of course now she thinks he wants her out, she didn't "hear" the reason.
I guess we could have an aid come twice a day to help her?
My father, brother and I are so tired of her behavior, and obviously it's not completely new, just exaggerated now that we see her all day long and she's confined mostly to one room. Also my father and mother seem to spend about 75% of their time in the same room, and I think it is very difficult for my father.
It has been proven for quite some time now, that anyone who has suffered with chronic depression for many years is at an extremely high risk of developing dementia, and sadly that now sounds like your mother.
And 75 years old is not too young to have any of the dementias. My late husband died with vascular dementia at 72, and a friend of mine's husband died almost a year ago of Lewy Body dementia at the age of 76.
You need to take your mother to a neurologist to have her tested to see exactly what kind of dementia she has.
And start educating yourself about this horrific disease so you can better understand what your mother is going through.
If you haven't learned anything about dementia I would start educating yourself.
36 hour day is a great book.
Teepa Snow on YouTube
There is tones of information
Might be time to start thinking about a facility. For your, your brothers and dads mental and physical health.
So sorry you are going through this, its so hard!.
Best of luck
She may need a memory care facility now.
As far as using a stair lift, someone may have to assist her on each trip up or down. At least that sounds a whole lot easier (and safer) than trying to assist her walking up and down. I can't trust my husband even using a walker any more because he doesn't follow through using it safely. I still am thankful for it because on a bad day, the walker helps me assist him a lot easier than without.
Losing independence can be as hard on the loved ones/carers as it is on the person experiencing it. But, that is the position the mum is in now - for whatever reason.
The mum cannot use the stairlift unaided, but at least it can be used by carers helping Mum to travel between floors.
If your Mom is on medication for her BPD, is it possible she might be over- or under-medicating herself? I would also do some pill counting and administer the meds to her yourself to discount this possibility. The way most dementias are diagnosed is by first discounting any other medical condition that could case symptoms. If I were you I'd take her in for a thorough exam (lab work, etc) first.
At 75 she's "young" to have age-related dementia, unless it's early onset ALZ. Getting her a thorough exam may find a condition for which there is a treatment. There is no treatment for ALZ or dementia.
I don't think that age is relevant here.
The OP's mum has bipolar, which will have affected her brain over her lifetime, making dementia more likely.
Also, while 75 may be young for age-related cognitive decline, it isn't that young to develop Alzheimer's or vascular dementia.
My Mum's brain has been damaged by epilepsy and a stroke; she's 76 and has had vascular dementia for a number of years.
Having read up about the long term effects of cortisol and inflammation on the brain, I'm concerned about how CPTSD, stress and anxiety may have caused damage that means I am likely to develop dementia when I am relatively young. I am finally learning to set boundaries to protect myself from external stressors, and I am practicing techniques to expel anxiety.
Look at this website: https://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/learning-after-60
In part, it says:
The more you learn, the better your brain is able to learn.
A study looked at adults ages 58 to 86 who took three to five new classes for 3 months. They increased their mental abilities to the level of people 30 years younger after just a month and a half.
Some people think that children and young people are more capable of learning. The truth might be that children are just put in a situation where they spend a lot of time learning new things. A survey of people over 40 found that 50% don't learn something new every week.
Tips for Learning After 60 - Challenge your assumptions.
As an older adult, the pathways in your brain are well-developed. You shouldn't focus only on learning new facts but also on learning new viewpoints. Challenge yourself by doing new things and exploring new ideas. Take a different way home from work, or read a history book that makes you think about what you know in a new way.
Work out - Exercising is great for your brain. The benefit of exercise for keeping your brain sharp has been studied a lot. In one study of 160 people, those who exercised three times a week for 45 minutes showed improvements in thinking and memory. Those who exercised and ate a heart-healthy diet showed even more improvement.
Website:
https://www.healthpartners.com/blog/aging-brain-normal-vs-symptoms/
In part: What isn’t normal for an aging brain?
Look for is the start of cognitive decline-a slow decline in memory, judgment and the ability to learn / solve problems – usually happening over a period of time fr months to several years.
Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia in people older than 65, but it isn’t the only one.
Alzheimer’s Assoc list of 10 warning signs:
Memory loss that disrupts daily life – Instead of forgetting names and appts but remembering them later, you start to forget them completely. You may also start asking the same questions over and over in addition to forgetting info you recently learned.
Challenges in planning or solving problems – Making the odd error when doing your bills is OK, but increasing difficulty in following a recipe or keeping track of your finances isn’t.
Difficulty completing familiar tasks – This means getting lost driving to places you regularly visit or suddenly forgetting how to play your favorite games.
Confusion w time or place – Forgetting the day of the week and then remembering it later is normal. But a bigger issue is when you start losing track of dates, seasons and the passage of time altogether.
New problems w words in speaking or writing – Beyond having occasional problems finding the right word, you have constant trouble finding the correct terms for familiar household items. Increased difficulty following, joining or having conversations is also a red flag.
Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps – We all lose things, but we’re usually able to find them in familiar places after some detective work. A problem might be developing if you constantly lose things and find them either in unfamiliar places (for example, your car keys in the freezer) or are completely unable to figure out how or why they appeared.
Personally, in my study of the brain and dementia, one MAJOR key is
M-O-V-E-M-E-N-T / exercise. 'Do' brain games before it is too late.
BrainHQ: Brain Fitness Program / BrainHQ by Posit Science - Build cognitive resilience.
Gena / Touch Matters
Those traits come with our DNA. Since your Mom's traits are not new, one shouldn't assume she has dementia.
As my parents aged, they tend to pivot to the living room where the TV was located and the front window to look out onto the neighbors. Nothing wrong with that, either. The room meant comfort for them :)